


Since I Remember

by XenCrow (DaintyCrow)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, But doesn't have to, Can been read as Wincest, Cute, Family, Fluff, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6050986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaintyCrow/pseuds/XenCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with Sam as a baby, and then it never really ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Since I Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Since I Remember](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6112135) by [DaintyCrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaintyCrow/pseuds/DaintyCrow)



> This isn't exactly the show, because I “missed” some things, but I hope it's okay anyway, and if you find mistakes or want to let me know what you think about this, I'd be really glad about it.  
> Enjoy!

_As little kids, Sammy and Dean always slept at least in the same room. Most time they also shared a bed, because Sammy were so little and Dean had to take care of him. And when little Sammy had a nightmare, or couldn't sleep, Dean started hugging him and stroking his hair, until Sammy's breath calmed as the little baby fell asleep._

_~*~_

_When they got a little older, they had to move all the time, because of their father. And Sammy turned out to be the only thing that never left Dean's side. The only thing that never really changed. So sometimes, when everything got too much for Dean, when their father left, and Sam slept in the next bed, and the only thing Dean heard was the breath of his brother, Dean stood up and went over, and he started stroking his brother's hair, until he felt himself calm down and falling asleep next to Sammy._

_~*~_

_It almost stopped, when they got older. When they went to high school, Dean had learned to get used to moving, and Sammy didn't have a lot nightmares anymore, so Dean didn't felt the need to have Sammy near him, and Sammy didn't felt the need to have Dean near him. It was only rarely, that Dean woke up because Sammy in the next bed yelled because of a bad dream, but every time Dean took a chair and sat near the bed, before stroking Sammy's hair and talking to him (even if he never was awake) until he got calmer._

_~*~_

_It stopped, when Sammy left to go to Stanford. The need to have Sammy around him never left Dean but only got stronger, because he was so used to Sammy next to him, that it was almost impossible without his little brother._

_~*~_

_When they started hunting together again, Sammy – or now Sam – had his nightmares back. And as soon as he noticed Sam didn't sleep well, he leaned over in the car, or raised himself from bed and went towards the bed of his little brother. And he started the whole thing again. Talked to Sam to calm him down, stroked his hair, when it got worse, did everything to get Sam to sleep without having nightmares. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. And if Sam woke up, Dean pretended he wanted to wake him. It wasn't as if Sam had to know about this one._  
_And when the nightmares stopped, Dean caught himself stroking Sam's hair when he couldn't sleep himself, or he thought about a difficult hunt and maybe loosing Sam._

_~*~_

_When they found the bunker, they had their own room the first time in their lives, as long as Dean didn't thought about Stanford, so they had to fight sleepless night on their own. Most time. They had the same room when they hunted something that wasn't near enough, but then again, there wasn't really a reason for not sleeping well, so Dean stayed in his own bed._

~*~

One time, Dean found Sam sleeping in the bunker in the library. Face buried into his folded arms, a book only a few inches away, and Dean started smiling immediately. When he looked down towards the book it was something in a language, Dean didn't know, but from the little picture of a creature he could tell it was about the hunt they wanted to go on the next days.  
And it was almost automatic, that he leaned against the table and started stroking Sam's hair (even if there was no reason to do so) while gripping the book and looking at it (even if there was no way for him to understand what was standing there).  
“Dean? What are you doing?” It was the first time, since ever that Dean hadn't noticed Sam opening his eyes, and he almost jumped, when he heard Sam's voice.  
Dean stopped moving and withdrew his hand immediately. “Oh, Sammy, you're- I- it … it just … calms me down … somehow,” he stuttered. It wasn't really a lie, since there had been the time it had calmed him down.

When Sam looked up, he knew exactly Dean was lying, but he didn't say anything. He just nodded slightly, closed his eyes and pretended to fall to sleep again. He smiled to himself, when he felt how Dean's hand started moving again.  
It always did. And he was always grateful about it, even if he had never told his brother. Not even after he had noticed it the first time, long ago when he was a little child. _When the whole thing started and then never really ceased._


End file.
